The Structures That Hold Love

Gabriela Rocha Caballero
Mar 22
3 min read

“Love is an active verb. It is practiced, remembered, and shared. It is our deepest heart's desire, and what keeps us alive.”

Around 18 years ago, I had the fortune of attending a few coaching and therapy sessions with Cliff Ishigaki. At the time, I was navigating a long and challenging divorce. Those sessions became more than therapy—they were creative spaces where I explored the stories I was telling myself, uncovered patterns in my life, and learned to take responsibility for my own truth. Most importantly, they helped me reclaim my power.

Defining Love

One of the most profound lessons I remember from those sessions was Cliff guiding me to define and explain the love I felt—and the love I spoke about.

For some, saying “I love you” takes time. For me, it came naturally because it’s an expression from the heart. To me, it literally means: “I care for you as much as I care for myself.”

Back then, I couldn’t fully define it. I knew it was a powerful feeling, but I had to peel it back, layer by layer, like an onion. Cliff’s guidance was simple yet transformative: “Define the why. Understand what love is beneath the projections, and you will understand yourself.”

I feel love for you because you make me laugh.

I feel love for you because look into my eyes.

I feel love for you because you remember my stories.

The feeling of love has a positive action attached.

When we feel love for someone because we have a specific dream, and we want that special other to work for it with us. That is not love, those kind of feelings are projections, mirroring our own desires, not the action of love.

Structuring a Daily Love Practice

So how do we cultivate love daily? How do we structure it as a practice?

We practice love through:

Caring – showing up for others and ourselves.
Presence – listening, seeing, and being fully attentive.
Remembering – recalling what matters and cherishing it.

We can even schedule it—because love is one of our deepest heart desires. It keeps us alive, grounded, and focused. Loving ourselves and others is a personal responsibility: to care, provide, and show up.

Reflective question: How can I intentionally bring love into my daily routine?

Love, Dharma, and Bhakti

For me, love is the path of presence. My healing deepened when I stopped forcing change—or expecting others to walk my path—and instead devoted myself to truth: my own truth.

This is where dharma comes in. Dharma is our individual moral responsibility or duty. The dharma of a farmer differs from the dharma of a soldier. Dharma shows us our path. Bhakti teaches us how to walk it.

“Bhakti is the invisible thread of love—or Prem—that binds the heart of a devotee with the lotus feet of the universe.” – Traditional Sanskrit teaching

I named my company Suddha Prem around the time I took those sessions with Cliff. I am forever grateful for his guidance and friendship.

Seventeen years ago, I chose two Sanskrit words that defined the love I felt and the path I wanted to live:

Suddha – pure: pure mind, pure wisdom
Prem – divine love: unconditional, devotional

These words became my compass, guiding me on a path that sometimes didn’t make sense. Yet with discipline, patience, and focus, it has borne fruit through dedication, tenacity, and clarity.

Reflective question: Which words or practices define the love I want to live by?

Serving Others as a Natural Consequence of Love

I began my journey with two guiding questions:

What am I truly here to build?
How can my personal path serve myself, my communities, and the planet?

When love longs for a higher purpose, devotion to serve others and give back becomes a natural consequence. After all, we are part of the Earth. We are all connected. And the Earth is not just a place—it is a process.

“The Earth is not a place, the Earth is a process.” – Larry Santoyo

Love, when structured, practiced, and embodied, becomes both our guide and our offering to the world.

Reflective question: How can my love serve the world around me today?

Rituals and rhythm, scheduling and doing.